I never could escape those
Small eyes that saw everything
At times what he saw in me made his
large laughs cover his whole belly
and that really made me happy, but
When he used his deep voice, I’d buckle up for a story
about what
Should or shouldn’t be
Going down right now.
At times I would take his advice…
Mostly I’d toss it back
Comforted by the echo of that rock hitting something in me
even if I didn’t want it.
Sucking on those smokes, he’d pace up and down like a
Crow, and I didn’t like it when he
was too honest. He could always tell because my eyes would close
when I needed to understand.
He’d pause for me to catch up, but he’d eat my crumbs if I was really late.
Now I’m finally broke down enough to hold his words
Like they were water.
I’m just going to keep these eyes closed real tight
maybe he will sneak in on my thoughts
and fix a old fence or two or take me for a ride around the parking lot again.
It’s tiresome trying to get through life without that sound of his voice in my ear.

we never stop needing dad.

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